Jumat, 22 Maret 2013
Here I am. Sitting face to my close friend. My closest one in my opinion. Working out our Final Project all night. Keep on chit chat from A to Z. We try to talk about everything to kill drowsiness.
Seems like there is no secret between us. I don't know is there something about us she hides from me? But on my side, I do have one. One thing I don't want her to know. Something that I worry to death if she knows it would make her disappointed on me.
That's about the feeling I have towards her. I've been feeling this since the time we got used to be together. I didn't even realize it in the very first time when I felt hurt every time people praised her in front of me, for every talent, skill and character she have. I never thought it keeps continuing for this long time. Even till now.
It almost 4 years we've been together, but still I can't kill this evil feeling. The time I have with her is like the happiest time and in other hand it seems like the hardest and the most tiring time I ever had in my life... I did act as another person to hide my true character to in order to keep this friendship. (Who am I talking about friendship). In the end I realize that all I have is just jealousy, cause she almost had everything that I want, everything that i wish i could be. Art skill, academic skill, Principle, Lovable character even she just act by as she is., but I... end up just being a bad friend.